The Silence of the Dreadful
by rapturemelancholia
Summary: Hope Fairfield is having a tough time coping with current events. Current events being, walkers, an annoying pregnant woman, and two hopeless guys. Slight OOC maybe. Nick/OC
1. Chapter 1

_**Hope**_

 _I've been with this group for a few months and have gone through hell with them. They're nice people, especially Luke. He's a big softy. They take care of each other like a family and you don't see that much these days - I admire that. I made a friend the day I joined them. His name is Nick. He's.. not the smartest person, but he tries, so I made myself a promise - that I would always stick up for him when someone pushed him down. We stick together no matter what, he told me._

"Ugh..." I groaned, my eyes fluttering open in panic as a loud gunshot ringed in my ears. I bolted straight up and ran out of the room and outside to the patio. The group was gathered outside, hovering over something small. Luke was shouting wildly at everyone as he too seemed to only have gotten there a moment ago.

Looking over to Nick, I saw he was holding the rifle. I sighed at him, shaking my head. I only got a grunt as a response.

"You all better have a damn good explanation," I growled and pointed angrily at them. I stared coldly at the group, my eyes resting long over Nick. Then my eyes locked with auburn ones. It was a little girl around the age of 12. She had curly black hair and an adorable cap. She held her bloody arm up in the air to defend herself from the hostile group. She looked pleading at me with big eyes.

"That girl's bit!" Nick pointed accusing at the girl and then looked at me.

I looked at her, "What's your name?" She looked quite frightened but I could see in her eyes that she was tough as nails.

"My name is Clementine! I'm not bitten! I swear, cross my heart hope to die." Her hazel eyes shone with determination.

Rebecca gave me a skeptical look, "Are you seriously gonna believe her?" She had her arms crossed over her chest where she stood leaned against the porch rail. I shrugged. "Unbelievable," Rebecca muttered and stormed inside again with Alvin right behind her trying to calm her down.

I felt someone tap my shoulder. I looked over to meet Nick's sapphire eyes. "We'll lock her in the shed and then tomorrow we'll see if she turns or not."

Had he gone insane? "But that will kill her!" I shouted and pushed him away from me. "She's just a girl Nick!" I spun around towards Luke. He looked as mad as me. "We can't just leave her out there," I said to him as I crossed my arms, frowning. She looked so much like my sister. I couldn't let her die.

"The whole group's voting for it except you guys. We _have_ to. I'm sorry, Hope, but this is what's going to happen."

I growled at them and stormed inside. Being younger than everyone else, except Sarah of course, made it quite difficult to make myself heard, even if all the other ideas were idiotic.

I leaned against the kitchen counter and sighed deeply. Sarah sat at the table, drawing a cute little puppy surrounded by small stars and a spaceship. In the corner, it said, 'space doggie'. She was different - like she was still a little girl on the inside. I guessed she must have had a condition. It would explain Carlos' protective nature of his daughter if she was more exposed than others.

Carlos barged in the door, "They're locking her in the shed tonight." I grunted at him and crossed my arms, "Hope, it's for your own safety. I know you want to help her, but we have to think about the group first."

"She's just a little girl!" I shouted, "What if it was Sarah?!" I wiped away the tear that fell down my cheek. "I'm sorry for yelling. I should go upstairs now." Without looking at him, I hurried up the stairs and slammed the door to the room shut. I fell to the floor, sobbing. ' _This can't be happening... this can't be real'_ I thought to myself for the thousandth time. I began to shake and my breath caught in my throat. I tried to muffle my heavy screams with my hands. They turned to silent screams. Silent tears.

Someone walked up the stairs. Slowly, hesitating. Soft steps getting louder and louder. Like a ball bouncing around in a square room. _Bonk bonk bonk_

"Hope." It was Nick's soft voice. As soft as his movements. "Step away from the door... please."

I quietly crawled to the farthest corner, burying my head into the moist wall as he entered the room. "This isn't real... This is too fucked up to be real!" It felt like something was trying to crawl out of my brain and eat me alive. I felt someone embrace me, cold skin colliding with warm skin.

"It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. We're alive right now and we're gonna survive this." Nick ran a hand through my hair, hugging me tightly. "Shh... It's okay." He hushed and wiped away my tears with his thumb.

"Don't go... Stay, promise you'll stay with me." I whispered softly.

"I will," Nick murmured and smiled lightly. "I promise."

He stayed with me as I fell asleep. When I awoke he persuaded me to go downstairs and eat something. I reluctantly followed behind him with my eyes still red and puffy. As Nick went to get food, I noticed that Clementine and Luke were sitting at the table, chatting with each other. I was genuinely surprised to see Clementine there. ' _They must've let her in while I slept..'_ My confused look soon turned into a smile as I sat down in front of her.

"They finally got the stick outta their asses? " I asked Luke jokingly when I saw the bandage on the girl's arm.

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "No.. Clementine patched herself up."

I raised my brow, "Really? You're hella tough then." I smiled as she looked up at me. I could see that she had been through a lot a kid shouldn't see, but the world was different now. A dead body walking around was more common than just a dead body.

Nick came back and brought me a bowl of some canned beans, sitting down beside me. He looked up at Clementine with a sad look in his eyes, "Hey, I'm sorry for.. you know. We had a bad experience once and.." His eyes fell to his hands on his knees.

I chewed slowly, watching Nick grow angry and sad. Luke saw it too and perked up, "He gets like that sometimes, don't hold it against him." Both of us exchanged a worried look as Nick exited the room. I quickly ate the rest of my food and hurried after him.

I knocked on the door to the room he and Luke shared and walked in, not bothering to wait for an answer. Nick was sitting on the edge of his bed on the floor, his head slouched down, his arms resting on his knees. I propped myself down beside him, saying, "Stop blaming yourself. It was _not_ your fault."

His blue eyes met mine, "I could've done something. I could've.." His voice broke and he lowered his head again.

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and drew him closer into a hug, not saying a word as he silently cried into my shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

In the early morning the next day, Hope sat on the roof, scouting the are for any threats like a hawk. Hours passed by fast as she scoured for any signs of walkers or intruders. Everything was unusually quiet and she began to get bored. Another hour passed and she was almost sleeping, leaned against the chimney with her knees up to her chin.

"Hope!" Pete yelled, his voice restrained to avoid attracting potential threats.

Hope blinked sluggishly, looked down to him and yawned, "Yeah?" She eyed the rifle that sat beside her, thinking there was something going on. This cabin didn't have any sort of fencing so they got Hope to 'play guard' up on the roof. She was a good sharpshooter, too, which had played a big part in her selection. The others didn't have the same skill with weapons except for Pete, but he was too old to go climbing on roofs.

"I need some help with the fish traps down by the river." He pointed lazily behind him to the path that led down to the narrow river.

She slung the rifle over her shoulder and jumped down, landing softly on the porch and walked up to Pete who had Clementine by his side. With a nod from Pete, they began walking down the path in silence.

"How ya' holding up? I heard you got an earful from Rebecca last night." Pete asked Clementine, looking around for any walkers that might lurk nearby.

"What's her problem anyway?" The girl said annoyed. Hope hadn't heard their dispute last night, but apparently, Rebecca had been a bitch to her. Hope suspected it was the pregnancy hormones wrecking havoc again.

"Well," Pete turned his gaze to the small girl, "She's got a lot on her mind lately. Bringing a baby into a world like this can't be fun. Hell, being pregnant isn't fun, either." Pete answered.

"How far are these fish traps?" Clem asked and looked around for any sign of the lake.

"It's not so far away from here, really," Hope said and adjusted her rifle. Her rifle always bounced around on her back when she walked and she was getting pissed off every time. "Did anyone teach you how to shoot, with a pistol or rifle?"

"My friend Lee taught me…" She answered and looked down with saddened eyes. Hope noticed and figured that this Lee guy had been pretty close to her.

"That's good. It's important nowadays." Pete didn't notice that Clem was a little down at the mention of the man. In fact, Pete didn't notice much these days when it came to emotions. Maybe he was getting old.

As they stepped over a wire fence, Pete started talking again, "Nick was about your age when I first took him huntin'. Came across this beautiful 13-point buck just standin' there on the ridgeline. The boy takes his rifle… lines up the shot just like I taught him… then I hear him start whinin'. He turns to me and he says 'I can't do it. I can't shoot it, Uncle Pete. Please don't make me shoot it.'"

"I haven't heard that one before." Hope laughed, a smile playing at her lips. She couldn't imagine Nick as a whiny little kid.

"Hey! Why didn't you wait?" Nick came running and stopped beside Hope.

Even though he was talking to Hope, Pete perked up anyway, "You want us standin' around while you piss on a tree? You know where the river is, boy." Hope rolled her eyes at them as Pete continued his story, "Anyway, so I go grab the gun out of his hand before BANG! The gun fires. Boy nearly gut shot me. And of course, the buck gets away." Pete finished, making me and Clem laugh.

Nick looks utterly pissed and embarrassed. "What're you going and tellin' them this shit for?"

"Cause you almost blew her face off yesterday. Seems relevant. Tryin' to let her know it's nothin' personal with you, you're just a lousy shot."

Hope sighed. They couldn't even be in the same place without fighting each other. Nick was going to continue arguing with him, but Hope nudged him and shook her head. "Don't. Just don't."

Nick dragged Hope with him up ahead and began complaining to her once they were out of earshot, "He's always giving me a hard time, it's not my fault!"

"Well if you stop acting like a complete dick, maybe he'll be nicer to you!" Hope snapped, marching on ahead with Nick standing dumbfounded where she left him.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she reached the riverside. There were bodies littered all over the place. "Oh my god..." Hope's lips trembled as she poked one of the bodies with her rifle. He had been shot through the head so at least this one wasn't going to come back.

Nick came up to her side and knelt down beside the body, "Jesus christ.. what the fuck happened here?" He searched the pockets of the body for anything useful but didn't find anything. He looked up at Hope who was mortified by the situation. "You okay?" He asked, standing up again.

Hope didn't answer but continued checking the other bodies. She had never seen anything like this, not people _slaughtering_ other people. None of them even had a gun on them, the occasional knife yes, but _no guns._ When Pete and Clementine came to the scene, Hope turned to them, "They didn't stand a chance, they were fuckin' slaughtered like pigs! Who would do something like this?" Becoming more and more angry, she loosened her bandana to feel more free.

"This wasn't some damn rinky-dink pissin' match. You wanna know what I think?" Pete gave her a concerned look.

Hope's eyes widened. _Carver.._ "Do you really think...? How the hell could he find us out here?" Hope felt panicked at the thought of being watched by the ones they were trying to escape. Carver was fucking mad. Completely and utterly insane. "If it's really him.." She said, "Then we have to warn the others."

Pete nodded, "We need to look around first though. Try to find some ammo and food. We're runnin' low again."

Hope waded through the water to the other side where more bodies laid, searching their pockets and backpacks. There were only half-empty water bottles and some canned beans. Otherwise there were matches, fire starters, kitchen utensils and clothes. It wasn't a great find, but it was at least something to take back. If it came to it, they could use the clothes as bandages or even as rope.

As she looked up, she saw a dozen walkers coming out of the woods. "Fuck. Me." She backed away slowly while slouching down to not be seen. The stream was too strong where she was, and would surely carry her away. One of them noticed her, but she didn't want to use her rifle and draw them _all_ to her. She looked back to the others who were oblivious to what was going on. Hope tried waving frantically with her arms to get their attention but instead another walker came her way. _Fuck it,_ she thought, aiming her rifle at the walkers head. Shooting it right in the head, the others finally looked her way. She shot the other one who was just a meter away from her. Now all the attention was on Hope. She didn't have near enough ammo to kill all of them, so she just turned around and started going into a sprint towards the other end of the forest with the walkers still following her. _Just don't follow the others..._ She thought as she dashed between the trees, still hearing moaning and grunts from behind her.

Looking behind her, she saw the walkers still following her. Without noticing, she ran right down a steep hill and tumbled down, stones and twigs hitting her on the way down. She twisted her ankle in the process and had a large gash running down the right side of her face and down to her neck. Limping onward, she found a tree that she could climb. Grabbing a stone, she climbed to the top and looked out over the forest. When the walkers were close enough, she threw the stone as far as she could, and to her luck, it hit a big rock and gave off an echoing sound which drew the walkers away. As one of them went to investigate the noise, the other ones followed. _'_ _They are pretty stupid to come to think of it.'_

She barely made her way back to the cabin, almost falling in through the cabin door. Rebecca was the first one to investigate the ruckus and almost screamed when she saw the blood-soaked woman. "Nice to see you too, Becca." Hope retorted, laughing quietly, stopping when a sharp pain in her ribs hit her. Carlos came rushing downstairs with a horrified Luke behind him.

Luke rushed to her and knelt down, "What the hell happened to you? Where's Pete and Nick? Is Clementine with you?" He was spewing so many questions at her that she almost wanted to slap him to shut him up.

"Wait..." She suddenly said, " _They aren't here?_ " She felt her heart sink to her stomach. _What if they were killed. What if Carver killed them?_ She bit her lip with tears in her eyes, "I left them there, I was on the other side of the river and I just left them there. I was trying to draw the walkers away from them but maybe... Oh god..."

"Hey, it's okay, we'll find them." Luke ensured her, picking her up from the floor. "You did all you could." He carried her to the living room and sat her down on the couch, his brows furrowed with worry.

She _wanted_ to believe what he said, but if they were dead... She would never be able to forgive herself for running.


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter contains mentions of suicide. I do not in any way want to upset anyone, so please, if the subject disturbs you in any way, do not continue reading. Stay safe and know that you are important and loved.**

* * *

I couldn't sleep that night. I kept thinking about them - if they were dead. The most horrible image came into my head. What if they were walkers. What if they came back.  
I sobbed quietly, trying not to wake everyone up. It was close to dawn now, but there had still been no sign of them.

As the sun started to move up in the horizon, I dozed off. I fell in and out of sleep from where I sat in the corner with my knees pulled up to my chin as I watched the front door intensely. I jolted up as the door swung open and Nick rushed in, looking around with panic. His eyes landed on me from where I stood in the corner. He rushed up to me and hugged me tightly, whispering something incoherent in my ear.  
Soon everyone was gathered in the small hallway with a thousand questions. They were relieved to see that at least someone made it back, but I was still distracted by the thought of Clementine and Pete becoming walkers.

We all sat down in the living room. Nick sat down beside me and looked at me with a small smile, "You saved us. They were way too many for us but you drew at least 20 of 'em away."

"Well," Rebecca said annoyed, "Where's Pete then?" _and Clementine_ I rolled my eyes at her. She was always angry, but I guess that was because of the pregnancy, or maybe she was just an all time bitch.

Nick continued his story, "There were still a couple of 'em left and they cut me off from uncle Pete and Clementine. I found a shed and hid there until mornin'. I thought they oughta be here by now.."

I shook my head slowly, trying to grasp all of the new information. I gulped, biting my lip trying not to cry in front of everyone. "I'm so sorry.." I whispered, "It's my fault. I wasn't paying attention..."

Nick rubbed my back and said, "You saved me, and they are probably fine."

I became scared and ashamed and stood up, "I killed them. I probably fucking killed them. It was all my stupid fault." I rushed into the night, not even caring about what could be out there. For all I cared, I could just lay down to die.

I did what I think was right in that moment, but it always turns out to be bad decisions. My mom used to tell me, _"Don't rush things. always think before you decide to take action. Slow down, and think in those few seconds. One thing can lead to something big even if in the heat of the moment it seemed to be so small."_

I shut my eyes tightly at the thought of my mother. I remembered the day it all started. She was going to get my sister from her school. About ten minutes after she had pulled out of the driveway there was someone who fired a gun in the neighborhood. We lived on a relatively safe street, and I had never heard anyone use a gun here. Sure, sometimes they threatened unwanted guests with them, but they _never_ fired it. I went to look out the window but saw nothing.. until my neighbor stumbled out of his front door covered in blood. Gasping, I ran out to him. "What happened?" I asked panicked. Blood was oozing out of a large gash he had in his shoulder. He was so pale and looked like he was going to faint any moment.

"She... attacked me..." He grunted, his eyes rolling back into his head as he collapsed in the middle of the street. I tried to carry him inside but it just ended up with me dragging him. He was a very muscular, part time boxer and I was a thin college girl. He was losing so much blood and it was soaking my shirt. When I got him inside the house, I locked the door and turned to look at his wounds. His chest wasn't moving anymore. I crept towards him, knowing he was dead, but I checked his pulse anyway. I felt sick when I confirmed he wasn't alive anymore. My shirt stuck to my skin in a disgusting sticky mess and I remember throwing up on the floor.

 _ **"Hope."**_

I was snapped out of my memories as Carlos approached me. I was sitting on my knees in the dirt with my hands in my lap, just staring into the forest. I must've looked crazy. I gave him a quick glance and stood up, not facing him.

"Whatever happens you have to understand that it was never your fault. You did all you could. This world does not have time for your guilt. You have to be strong to survive."

I blinked my eyes to prevent the tears from falling down, "What if I don't want to be alive?" The words left me with dryness. The sentence felt.. corrupted, like it was evil. After my dad took his own life I never wanted to think about death like that. It scared me that I was thinking it now, knowing it was so easy to just end it. My hands shook from the cold. I didn't _want_ the thoughts to be there, but they wouldn't leave my mind. _Do you ever think about ending it like your dad_? They taunted me, pushed me with the subject. _Was there any blood?_ He hung himself in the bedroom. It didn't need to be bloody. His pale face and blue lips were enough to make me scream. _Why did he do it? Were you such a lousy daughter or something?_ Why were they so cruel. I hadn't done anything to them. It was _my_ father who had died. They would make suffocating noises when they passed me in the hallway. I would try to ignore it. One day I had enough when a girl made a horrible comment about my father being a child rapist, I had punched her in the face, knocking a front tooth out. There was so much blood and everyone was shouting. It was chaos. I snuck out of the school from the back and ran straight home. I locked myself in my room and cried for hours.

There was a lump in my throat, "There is nothing in this world that would drive me to take my own life. Nothing." I said to myself, remembering my father's smile as he hugged me one day. He said, _my little angel, my only Hope._

* * *

 **This was really hard to write. I have my own experience with the subject and I teared up many times and had to take pauses. There is really nothing in this world that would drive me to the point where I no longer wish to live. Not anymore.**

 **Please stay safe and take care of your loved ones.**


	4. Chapter 4

Hope opened her eyes and looked around groggily. She yawned and sat on the edge of the bed. Pete and Clementine never came back yesterday, and she was beginning to lose faith that they were alive. Pulling a long sleeved shirt over her head, she walked downstairs, almost tripping over Nick who sat at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey..." He spoke softly, not looking up at her. He had his head in his hands and his eyes were locked on the floor.

She sat down beside him, mimicking his pose. "They back yet?" She already knew the answer but she still hoped that they were back.

"No, not yet."

Hope studied her bony hands. They were beaten with cuts all over and there was dirt under her short fingernails. She never liked being responsible for anything, she just wasn't adult enough to handle something like that. "Maybe.." She began, but her own voice failed her and she sighed. She rubbed her temples in frustration, "We should go look for them." She was determined, but the nagging fear in her stomach was still there. Why they were just sitting here rolling their thumbs, she didn't understand. They should be out there looking for them when there was still a chance they were safe and sound and just holed up somewhere, unable to get out. Clementine was just a child for god's sake! They couldn't just leave her out there, even though she _did_ seem to be able to handle herself well.

Nick sat quiet, not looking back at Hope. He was afraid that his uncle was dead, or _worse_. Hope felt responsible for his sadness and laid a hand on his back to try and comfort him. Her hand trembled on his back _"_ _does he blame me?"_ A lump formed in her throat and she quickly drew her hand away. Pete was like a father to him - hell, Pete practically raised Nick on his own. Hope remembered blaming everyone for her father's death. _You made him do it._ She had screamed and cried for hours when they told her. _Your father.. he is no longer with us. He took his own life_. It still made her upset to think about it. All those bad memories flooded back into her mind. She had blamed herself for a time, before blaming everyone else.

Pale-faced, she stood up and walked out the door. There was nothing following her except for her own shadow and the soft sound of her soles. She made her way out to the gloom forest that was coated with darkness. The sun was hidden behind large sets of dark rain clouds that threatened to spill over at any minute.  
The dead were heard in the west, moaning. Hope tried to hear past the dead for any sound of Clementine and Pete, but only the croaking of crows could be heard. She didn't want to shout their names, afraid that the dead would hear and come her way. Instead, she climbed a tree with reasonably steady branches and overlooked the valley to the east. No movement was seen and she sighed before beginning to climb down. Just then she could see something in the distance, a small form. _Clementine.._ Hope sighed with relief as Clementine came into view and she could see that she was okay.

Hope landed like a feline on the ground and jogged up to a tired Clementine whose eyes were dull, "Where's Pete?" The question escaped her lips before she realized that he was not coming back.

Clementine clenched her fists and looked down into the ground. "He's dead." She said.

Hope's eyes dropped to the ground. _Fuck.._ If she didn't feel enough guilt before, she did now. What was she going to say to Nick? He would break down for sure. First, he lost his mother and now his uncle who was like a father to him. Would he blame her for Pete's death? Would he blame Clementine? Or would he simply just blame himself.

With a sob, Hope trudged back to the cabin and called out to Nick, her voice cracking as she cried. She waited anxiously as she heard hurried footsteps come down the stairs. At first, he looked happy but then he saw Hope's tear filled eyes and he understood what had happened. "Nick... I'm so sorry." Hope wanted to hug him but wasn't sure if he needed time alone to think.

Nick stood still, his eyes wide, gaze fixated on the pine floor. His lip was trembling and his knuckles turned pale as he clenched his fists. Hope neared him, gently taking his hand in hers. He relaxed his hand, not moving away from her. When the first tears escaped his eyes she embraced him and held him near, whispering comforting words in his ear. He had been her best friend for long now, several years since the day that they met - when it all began. She wanted nothing more than to make him happy again like he was before. Even in all chaos, he smiled at her, but now his eyes were empty of his happy spirit and his smile was faded since long. She felt like it was partly her fault, even though she could have done nothing more to save Pete with a whole group of walkers on her tail.

They still had one problem - _who_ had killed all those people by the lake? Everyone would agree that it was Carver, because of their fear. The truth was, it could be _anyone._ Someone psycho enough to kill those people in cold blood when they couldn't fight back. Everyone was thinking the same question - is it Carver and his folks? But no one said anything when they gathered in the night to discuss what happened.

"Well?" Rebecca began, sneering as always. "We're all thinking the same thing."

Carlos sighed, running a dirty hand through his unwashed graying hair. Luke just looked down at his feet and Alvin didn't seem to even want to open his mouth.  
Hope looked up from her place in the corner, "So what if it is him? What are we supposed to do? Run forever? We don't have any supplies left and Becca's pregnant for god's sake! We need to do something about this, and fast."

"So what do you suggest then?" Luke snapped at her, biting his lip.

Hope paused, clenched her fists and said, "We kill them all. We find them and we fucking put them down like the dogs they are."


End file.
